On Relationships
A lot of people say relationships are about “giving and taking.” However, giving and receiving offers a much different hue to the passion of our relationships. How do you think our relationships can shift and grow more plentiful with the attitude of giving and receiving, other than giving and taking? Your insights on this are appreciated and contribute greatly to the whole of this growing understanding!
Thank you in advance!
with Great Sincerity,
LS
Wow, great topic!
At first, the difference between receiving and taking seems subtle, perhaps just an issue of semantics. However, in my opinion, there is a vast difference between the two concepts that changes the perspective of any loving relationship (from romance to friendship).
Taking can be a very selfish concept. A taking mindset implies that you feel entitled to have something regardless of whether or not you deserve it, you asked for permission to have it, or the other party wanted to give it. Taking resonates with force, and with disregard for the other person's state of being; it's very 2-year-old. Ask any toddler in the midst of an argument over a coveted toy about motivation and you'll hear “I wanted it, so I took it.” Not the kind of energy or expectation I would personally want to experience or bring into a relationship. This form of taking mentality violates the boundaries of respect between two people.
Taking can also be indicative of a feeling of obligation; as in, “I can't take much more of this…” It can be synonymous with the phrase “put up with”. Yes, any good relationship requires commitment, but commitment and obligation are two entirely separate entities – and a whole 'nuther soap box! <grin> In my opinion, if a relationship has reached a point where either party continues the relationship solely out of obligation, then there is no joy there; no compassion, no love, no passion. In this case, taking becomes a burden; you continue the relationship because you feel you HAVE to, not because you WANT to. And that can't be healthy, for either party involved.
Receiving, on the other hand, is a word I associate with gifts. Receiving allows you to open up to different experiences; to accept that what you are being given may not be what you expected, or thought you needed, or wanted. Receiving enables you to find the meaning in the gift given – to use that experience as a means to get to know someone better. Receiving allows more fluidity in a relationship; it opens you to reciprocity. It means that what was given was given freely and it preserves respectful boundaries. And, if you have any manners at all, receiving reminds you to say “thank you” for the gift. Being appreciated for gifts given, whether minuscule or monumental, is vital to the soul.
Can you imagine how differently people would view marriage if the standard vows “Do you take this man/woman..” were changed to read “Do you accept this man/woman as a gift from the universe?” How much more would we appreciate the beauty of a romantic relationship?
Perhaps all relationships should be viewed, ultimately, as gifts from divinity.
A gift from divinity- signed, sealed, delivered. Reciprocity, good word. “opens you to reciprocity”- sweet opportunity.
Wow, that's a big bite Keri! A lot there to ponder!
Thank you!